Spacie tryhard7/29/2023 It helped when my DC was around 6.įor my kid the key was a loooong calm down period. I think they probably feel more insulted by the narrating. It is ok to be upset but it isn’t ok to speak like that.īut I don’t know if this really works with older kids. I want you to know it really hurt my feelings when you said x y z. Then you say I’m glad you told me, I am glad we can talk. It might be bullshit but let them say what ever and just listen. Let them talk first about anything that made them upset. Then you wait a while (like half an hour until they are really really calm and have the discussion about how you could tell they were very very upset and you want to help. Try hard not to do anything reactive even walking away unless they agree to that, but reiterate that this is making you very upset and you need to calm down. Do you want to take a deep breath with me or should I give you some space. If the unacceptable behavior is continuing you say again I really need to calm down before I talk to you. So child yells something nasty at you, you freeze, take a second and say out loud “I need to take a minute so I don’t say something I regret.” Then wait a minute regardless of what they are doing, visibly taking three deep breaths. I can’t remember where I read this technique but it I try to model the behavior I want to see. If they feel school isn’t going well they can take it out on you and make sure you love them even at their worst. I think who ever said to check in with what is going on at school. We have gone through some periods really ugly outbursts and the worst was definitely when there was a teacher con DC case saying lots of unhelpful stuff. Sorry if I missed it but how old is your child? And it focuses on teaching tangible skills to regulate emotions, tolerate distress, find effective solutions to difficult interpersonal situations. While it's true that DBT was developed for personality disorders & self-harm, it absolutely works for everyone. I've heard great things about Jessica Kramer as a therapist for parents of kids with special needs: She might also have good referrals for family therapists. That PP doesn't know what they're talking about, in no small part because both CBT and DBT are considered forms of "talk therapy," and also because DBT is specifically for people with personality disorders and self-harm. Neither parent uses language like that or is otherwise belittling or has anger issues.Īny recommendations for a therapist who would come to our house (the school counselor has not been helpful)? Or a good CBT or DBT therapist for me? We're in Maryland. We've tried four different medications and three different therapists.
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